Why you don’t love your life and what to do about it!

In the deepest part of your memory you can probably remember a time long ago when your life was full of excitement, adventure, joy and hope.

Then somewhere along the way something happened, reality or life got in your way.

 

Part time lovers

Most of us are only part time lovers of our lives. We love the weekends, holidays, sleeping in, our partners, friends and family. Most individuals I know do not love going to work.

We all know that many of us live for the weekends to escape our dreary week of work that we do not love. We are forever thinking about getting out of what we don’t love and doing something we love.

Many of us accept this as a part of life and don’t realise that it is possible to love the great majority of our lives (not just the weekends).

I am not suggesting that once you have learnt to love your life that you will not be confronted with hardships because clearly you will. Hardships and unpredictable events happen to everyone on this planet regardless of your chosen life path or your spiritual maturity.

 

Impatience on the road to love

Your outer circumstances will always change whether you like it or not. If you place all your happiness and contentment or love in the outer world you will eventually be disappointed. However if you can learn to love all that life has presented you both the good and the bad then you still have a steady foundation when your outer world changes.

I am not suggesting we just accept and don’t bother trying to change our outer world or our own lives but we should learn to enjoy the journey.

 

Not believing in yourself

Being a parent of four wonderful children I now understand the importance of allowing your children to take calculated risks and encourage them to follow their own path in life. One of the biggest influencers a parent has on their children is their own internal belief system.

If your parents do not believe anything is possible for their own life then they are hardly going to advise their own children that anything is possible and to follow their dreams. Learning to believe in yourself is also about learning to love yourself. If you do not believe that you are worthy on having a life that you love then it should be no surprise that your never going to find it!

Also our teachers, friends and peers all influence our own internal belief system we have in ourselves. I was very fortunate to have parents that supported my dreams and allowed me the freedom to choose my own future.

Many children do not have this luxury. What happens when a child witnesses his parents going to work that they complain about and hate every day?

Of course over indulging your child’s sense of self can be just as destructive as giving no encouragement.

 

Not believing in God

I honestly do not know how I would have traversed the many challenges life has thrown at me without knowing God is always by my side. There will be many times in your life when everything will seem to be going against you. The death of a loved one, health issues or financial loss. The list is endless on what troubles may come your way.

Why try and complete this journey of life on your own when you have a loving creator who can help you on your journey?

 

Not knowing your purpose

Knowing your purpose will help your focus your energies on what really matters. Without purpose you will simply drift through life from one pursuit to another never knowing the deep satisfaction that comes from being aligned with God’s will for your life.

Without a strong purpose you will be led astray by well meaning friends, family and the collective society. The good news is discovering your purpose is not hard. Understanding you have a purpose is the first step to discovering it!

 

No control over your mind

One of the biggest stumbling blocks to loving your life is the amount of control you have over your mind. This is one of the biggest areas of my own life that I have to keep working on constantly. My mind is constantly busy and I have to take deliberate measures to reduce the stream of thoughts that constantly invade my mind (running multiple businesses tends to do this!).

Meditation is a great way to reduce the constant stream of thoughts in your head. I like to walk along the beach and just watch the natural world around without the need to have to think. Being present and being an observer of the Gods beauty around me is a wonderful way to quieten my mind.

There are so many books available to help you quieten and control your mind. A good start is Eckhart Tolle’s The power of now.

 

Fear of failure

I’m not sure when it happens for most of us but at some point in our childhood we begin to develop a fear of failure. Before this happens we tend to do things just for the love of it. We do not tend to worry too much about the outcome of whether we will fail or not. I think possibly schooling starts this process of fearing failure. Once we start sitting exams we are taught very young what happens if we fail. Failure is uncomfortable, for example if we fail our parents will find out and may be disappointed with us. We also start to compare ourselves to others, hence the concept of winners and losers begins!

I am not suggesting we should not do our best however our society is built around the concept of pass or fail. Our society makes it difficult for individuals who fail. Failed marriages, failed businesses or careers are just two types of failures that we all dread.

What if failure did not have to be so hard? What if you viewed failure not as something to avoid but something that may be a prerequisite for a life that you love?

What if you just started something new without any thought of whether you would fail or not?

 

The child in you and endless possibilities.

Most individuals I speak to normally remember there early childhood and maybe teenage years as being the time they really loved life.

Then as we get older something happens, the world as we thought we knew it somehow changes. The excitement, freedom and possibilities we once enjoyed is replaced with work and responsibilities.

Life as we get older becomes well, a very serious affair.

We now have to make our way in the world and earn a living to survive.

 

Loving your life despite outer circumstances

It is ironic that to change your outer world to a life that you love you first have to change your inner world first. We must learn to love the life you have right now.

You may be thinking how can I love my life right now if I hate my job or I am under financial stress or my health is suffering?

Your outer circumstances will always been changing whether you like it or not. If you place all your happiness and contentment or love in the outer world  you will eventually be disappointed. However if you can learn to love all that life has presented you both the good and the bad then you still have a steady foundation when your outer world changes.

I am not suggesting we just accept and don’t bother trying to change our outer world but we should learn to love the journey. Being grateful for what we have regardless of what we are going through is one of the secrets to loving your life despite external difficulties.

When I have problems with my business I remind myself how lucky I am to have a loving family to come home to every night. It definitely helps me with the journey.
God wants you to love all of life (not just the good bits!)

This one is a hard one to get your mind around. Everything that happens to you both perceived good and bad can be used for your spiritual development. We grow through adversity. I honestly believe that we are all at some point in our lives presented with adversity and loss so we learn to put our faith in God and not ourselves.

Have you ever met a child that has been spoilt by their parents and has never known pain or adversity? I have met a few and they are not pleasant children to be around. They come to believe that the world revolves around them. These narcissistic children have been trained to think of no one else except themselves.

I believe God knows this is exactly what will happen to us if he supplies our every want and need. It is through adversity, loss and pain that we learn the valuable lessons of compassion and love for others, ourselves and God.

We should look at all of life as a rich spiritual school for our souls. If your life is currently a mess then see it is a wonderful opportunity to learn something new about yourself, others and God. See adversity and challenges as a prerequisite for change.

 

Discovering your purpose

It would be great if when you turned twenty one years of age God came down and handed you a letter telling you what unique talents you had and what your life purpose was. It would get rid of all the confusion on what you should be doing with your life.

The sad fact is God has given you a letter built deep within you, however society, well-meaning friends and family and fear of failure has forced you to bury this letter deep within your subconscious.

I had a pretty clear idea on what I wanted to do with my life when I was very young, then like most individuals I forgot my purpose. It took me over twenty years of trial and error to discover it again. I wrote my first book The Three Desires to reduce the time it will take you to discover your purpose.

Life’s challenges are so much easier to navigate if you are living on purpose. Knowing you are travelling on your own unique path that you have chosen gives you staying power.

 

Why failure should never be feared!

Why do we fear failure so much? If you are not loving your life I can guarantee that there is a very high probability that you are afraid of failing. Whether it is applying for that new job you always wanted or starting a new business. The fear of failure is probably stopping you from taking action.

I feel both sadness and compassion when I meet someone who truly does not love their life and feels lost and confused on what direction to take. I also feel for individuals who know their purpose but are too afraid to act. The fear of failure stops them from starting their journey. The issue is that more often than not following your unique purpose will require an act of faith. However most of us want guarantees of a happy ending before we are willing to start our journey.

 

Creating your life that supports the best of you!

It would be easy to believe that just learning to have faith in God, being grateful and following your purpose would be enough to create a life that you love. While your life will improve tremendously by improving these areas it is by no means all that needs to be done to guarantee a life that you love.

God has designed us to create and relate in the material world. We are all very different in relation to how we best feel at home in the world. This is how God has intended it.

For instance I love spending a quiet evening with my family and friends around a dinner table. I don’t really like to party or socialise much in large groups that often. I have plenty of friends who do and that is completely OK, what a boring world it would be if we were all similar.

I have listed some areas of your life below that you should be giving some serious thought. If you get one of these wrong your life may feel out of balance and delay the peace and joy you require to live a life that you love.

 

Your ideal partner

Nothing can make or break your joy for life faster than choosing the right or wrong life partner. We have all met couples who quite clearly don’t belong together. It could be consistent arguing or one partner more controlling than the other.

On the other hand when you meet the “right” partner everything just seems to fit. That’s not to say it will not be challenging at times however traversing life with your ideal partner just makes life so much more enjoyable. I am so grateful I met my soul mate so early. The years of being lost and having to work in jobs I hated was made bearable by having such a wonderful wife.

 

Your ideal work/life balance

I have met individuals who love to work a sixty hour week and always display plenty of passion and energy for life. I also know other individuals who love their life and only work a few days a week at best.

Even if find work that you love if you feel you are doing too much of it then the joy will quickly disappear from your life. You may require a variation in the type of work that you do.

Do you love to work during the day or night, at home or in the office, outside or inside? These are all important questions your need to ask yourself.

 

Your ideal location

Do you feel more at home in the country or the city? Close the beach or a snow covered mountain?

We all have our own ideal geographical locations that we most feel at home. If you long for peace and quiet and you’re stuck living in the busy city than it is going to be harder for you to find the peace and joy and inspiration that is required to create a life that you love.

If you’re not living in your ideal location I am not suggesting it is going to happen overnight, however it is worth working towards moving to a location that honours your spirit.

 

Your ideal friends

Like our partners our friends can either support us or lead us away from living a life that we love. The truth is nobody on this earth develops spiritually at the same time. Everyone’s journey will be different. Some friends will support your growth or change and some will not. As you grow into your new best self you need to be careful who you are spending your time with. Do your friends bring you joy and support or are they causing you stress and anxiety on your journey?

Not everyone is going to support your actions and that is completely Ok, only you know if they are adding to the joy of your life or diminishing it.

 

Your spiritual development

Finding your perfect partner, work and location is important but will count for nothing if we are not consistently working on building a relationship with our creator. Spiritual development is always primary.

How will you able to make an informed decision unless you learn to trust and listen to the quiet voice of god?

When you view yourself as a spiritual eternal being living in a material word you entire mindset changes overnight.

Trying to create a life that you love without God being present is impossible whether you are aware of our creator or not. Developing spiritually is allowing God to work through you and allowing him to assist you in your life decisions.

It is also reassuring to know that someone is with you guiding you and supporting you along the way.

 

You have more power than you think

Don’t be fooled into believing that life has complete power over you.

As a child of God you have been given an incredible amount of power to change both your own life and the world around you. This power is in all of us. It can be used for good, evil or nothing at all.

The choice has always been yours, whether you believe it or not!

 

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